I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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