oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
