We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it's like iHOP with fire
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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