i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
