Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
