Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
