A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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