Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
