my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
