jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
