the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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