brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Christians are straight up FREAKS
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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