Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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