Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
