you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
