Define "chronic" masturbator.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
