Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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