I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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