He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
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It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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