So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
