Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
