I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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