What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
