it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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