Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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