remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
