Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
