Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
