i think my tv is drunk
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
