he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
