Texts From Last Night

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  (530): View more from California

  You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.

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  (530): You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger. http://tfl.nu/48s1
  Replies (58) Good night (3731) Bad night (7900)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.

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  (317): eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped. http://tfl.nu/504u
  Replies (65) Good night (7168) Bad night (1818)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.

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  (404): No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it. http://tfl.nu/6j8m
  Replies (24) Good night (1829) Bad night (8677)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

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  (619): My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can. http://tfl.nu/8tit
  Replies (21) Good night (14921) Bad night (1499)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"

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  (732): The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out" http://tfl.nu/fcdr
  Replies (5) Good night (1167) Bad night (2118)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.

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  (317): I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block. http://tfl.nu/1spf
  Replies (1) Good night (749) Bad night (1491)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh

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  (858): currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh http://tfl.nu/1197
  Replies (6) Good night (1697) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive

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  (306): I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive http://tfl.nu/z4k9
  Replies (6) Good night (2947) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?

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  (513): Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail? http://tfl.nu/pghy
  Replies (6) Good night (1690) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.

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  (302): Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you. http://tfl.nu/p99c
  Replies (7) Good night (1562) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.

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  (520): Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell. http://tfl.nu/vby3
  Replies (5) Good night (461) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.

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  (608): He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love. http://tfl.nu/9m9h
  Replies (1) Good night (953) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.

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  (770): Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair. http://tfl.nu/it6g
  Replies (3) Good night (429) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  summertime

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  (804): One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen (1-804): summertime http://tfl.nu/un7q
  Replies (3) Good night (777) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?

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  (314): Who put the meatball sub on my door handle? http://tfl.nu/3y9a
  Replies (3) Good night (389) Bad night (185)

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