That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Barsexuality is the new black.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
