her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She's the barista slut.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We are all done wearing pants today
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
