Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.