What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY