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If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
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