You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?