I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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