I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
