Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
