I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
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Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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