Do you still have your period?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He passed out mid-signature
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
