see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
