The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
