do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
