I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
