Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
His nipple licking is glorious
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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