It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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