would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
