Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
