so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
