My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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