she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
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My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
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Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Gay?
German.
Pity.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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