any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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