Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
