her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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