I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
