I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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