i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
