drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
