so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
