you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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