I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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