Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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