My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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