Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
