So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
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There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
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I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize