I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
