What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Please, let me fuck your mom
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
