hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
