At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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