I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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