i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
