do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
