With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
