His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize