He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm at about main and main street
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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